The wounds on your hands never seem to heal
I thought all I needed was to believe
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or the beat of my heart
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes
Senseless years thunder by
Millions are willing to give their lives for you
Does nothing live on?
Learning to cope with feelings aroused in me
My hands in the soil, buried inside of myself
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes in you once again
Ill go walking in circles
While doubting the very ground beneath me
Trying to show unquestioning faith in everything
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or a change of heart
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes in you once again
I have been on a rather big David Sylvian/Japan/solo kick in the past few weeks. As one of my longest music loves, Sylvian and co and I have been through a bit together: high school, first love, drugs, marriage, divorce, overseas travel, composing, university, becoming a father, second marriage, leaving my country. In all the big things in my life, their music has been a part of it. Sometimes it has coincided that a new release that come out when a new stage of my life has begun.
They also have the advantage of being an artist that I have shared with my best friend Chris. I first met Chris through Sylvian. In 1986 I was selling(!) my Sylvian LPs to buy something else. We carried on about how brilliant he was and so forth. Within a year, I was working at the same shop with Chris; listening to Sylvian of course. I'll never forget something Chris said to me at this time, something along the lines of "I know in 10 or 20 years, I'll be able to come over to your place, and we'll listen to Sylvian". This ended up being completely true. The same couldn't be said for other stuff we were digging. (The Mission or All About Eve, anyone?)
On my latest kick, David and co are now being listened to with Christian ears. It has been an interesting spiritual journey for David Sylvian. He is now a Hindu, but was raised a Christian (I think).
Christian imagery abounds in his early works, but by 1993 they are gone.
David's most explicit Christian reference is in the 1983 single "Forbidden Colours". This is a gorgeous song, the music gleams and sparkles, David's voice is a croon, but melancholic. The opening line expresses the essential meaning:
The wounds on your hands never seem to heal
I thought all I needed was to believe.
The songs is about faith and the problem of keeping and questioning it. The middle eight clarifies the core issue:
I'll go walking in circles
While doubting the very ground beneath me
Trying to show unquestioning faith in everything
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or a change of heart.
When I was younger, I had no idea what "The blood of Christ" meant. These days the blood of Christ is central to my life: the Eucharist is vital in my daily life and faith journey.
He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood abideth in me,
and I in him.
John 6:56 RV
If I was to explain that to myself 20 years ago, I wonder what I would have thought?
Here is the video.
After yesterdays rumination upon a "verily, verily" phrase, my interest in them all has been rekindled. The fact that this blog comes from the first of these phrases should be enough to let you know my feelings on them.
The phrase "verily, verily" is unique to John, and could easily be "amen, amen," or "Truly, truly," or "Surely, surely." Whatever it is translated as, it is certain that what follows is of extreme importance.
So here they all are, all 25 of them.
I have started to organise them, but work is slow on this.
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Ye shall see the heaven opened,
and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.
John 1:51 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
Except a man be born anew,
he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 3:3 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
Except a man be born of water and the Spirit,
he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
John 3:5 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
We speak that we do know,
and bear witness of that we have seen;
and ye receive not our witness.
John 3:11 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
The Son can do nothing of himself,
but what he seeth the Father doing:
for what things soever he doeth,
these the Son also doeth in like manner.
John 5:19 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that heareth my word,
and believeth him that sent me,
hath eternal life,
and cometh not into judgment,
but hath passed out of death into life.
John 5:24 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
The hour cometh,
and now is,
when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God;
and they that hear shall live.
John 5:25 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Ye seek me,
not because ye saw signs,
but because ye ate of the loaves,
and were filled.
John 6:26 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
It was not Moses that gave you the bread out of heaven;
but my Father giveth you the true bread out of heaven.
John 6:32 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that believeth hath eternal life.
John 6:47 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood,
ye have not life in yourselves.
John 6:53 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Every one that committeth sin is the bondservant of sin.
John 8:34 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
If a man keep my word,
he shall never see death.
John 8:51 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Before Abraham was, I am.
John 8:58 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that entereth not by the door into the fold of the sheep,
but climbeth up some other way,
the same is a thief and a robber.
John 10:1 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
I am the door of the sheep.
John 10:7 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Except a grain of wheat fall into the earth and die,
it abideth by itself alone;
but if it die,
it beareth much fruit.
John 12:24 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
A servant is not greater than his lord;
neither one that is sent greater than he that sent him.
John 13:16 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me;
and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
John 13:20 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
that one of you shall betray me.
John 13:21 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
The cock shall not crow,
till thou hast denied me thrice.
John 13:38 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that believeth on me,
the works that I do shall he do also;
and greater works than these shall he do;
because I go unto the Father.
John 14:12 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
that ye shall weep and lament,
but the world shall rejoice:
ye shall be sorrowful,
but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.
John 16:20 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
If ye shall ask anything of the Father,
he will give it you in my name.
John 16:23 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
When thou wast young,
thou girdedst thyself,
and walkedst whither thou wouldest:
but when thou shalt be old,
thou shalt stretch forth thy hands,
and another shall gird thee,
and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
John 21:18 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that entereth not by the door into the fold of the sheep,
but climbeth up some other way,
the same is a thief and a robber.
But he that entereth in by the door is the shepherd of the sheep.
Jesus therefore said unto them again,
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
I am the door of the sheep.
John 10:1-2, 7 RV
The "verily, verily" saying of Jesus are peculiar to the Gospel of John. I like them. They are profound, rich, and useful.
These two from chapter 10 are particularly strong. Here Jesus tells us that there are many ways to look after people, but only one true way: through him.
He that entereth not by the door into the fold of the sheep,
but climbeth up some other way,
the same is a thief and a robber.
Here Jesus tells us that there are others ways to lead people; one can think of many things: money, power, false beliefs, ideologies....the list could go on and on. What Jesus tells us is that the only thing worth following is Him. Other ideas will only lead to disappointment, or worse, destruction.
One can visit many churches and see they are being honestly led by the Gospel. However, many may be being led by some other idea. Where a church starts to care more about what goes on the collection plate, or it's public image, and not about the sick, poor or oppressed, it is being led by a false Gospel.
Of course, it will never be that obvious. It is very easy to twist the Gospel for selfishness. One needs to be constantly alert and prayerful to avoid such misinformation.
The danger lies in not being able to see the difference.
I have composed another piece for my ongoing "Saints" series. This time it was St Teresa of Avila.
Here is the piece.
My other posts about her will let you know my feelings about her, and what an impact she has had on my journey.
Where my other pieces in this series have been shorter (Catherine of Siena in particular), or in movements (Julian of Norwich), St Teresa ended up 9 minutes. It contains many peaks and troughs, and is rather dynamic. I think it reflects her writing style: rambling, unpunctuated, free and personal. The modulations seem to describe points of view from different angles.
I read and meditated on the following vision of hers before recording the piece:
I saw an angel close by me, on my left side, in bodily form.
This I am not accustomed to see, unless very rarely.
Though I have visions of angels frequently, yet I see them only by an intellectual vision,
such as I have spoken of before.
It was our Lord's will that in this vision I should see the angel in this wise.
He was not large, but small of stature, and most beautiful —
his face burning, as if he were one of the highest angels, who seem to be all of fire:
they must be those whom we call cherubim.
Their names they never tell me;
but I see very well that there is in heaven so great a difference between one angel and another,
and between these and the others, that I cannot explain it.
I saw in his hand a long spear of gold,
and at the iron's point there seemed to be a little fire.
He appeared to me to be thrusting it at times into my heart,
and to pierce my very entrails;
when he drew it out, he seemed to draw them out also,
and to leave me all on fire with a great love of God.
The pain was so great, that it made me moan;
and yet so surpassing was the sweetness of this excessive pain,
that I could not wish to be rid of it.
The soul is satisfied now with nothing less than God.
The pain is not bodily, but spiritual; though the body has its share in it, even a large one.
It is a caressing of love so sweet which now takes place between the soul and God,
that I pray God of His goodness to make him experience it who may think that I am lying.
The Life of St. Teresa of Jesus (c.1565) Ch. 29
Pretty intense stuff, but hard to resist, and hard to not believe. Although this famous vision is fantastic and wonderful, The St Teresa that has stayed with me exists in the following:
Let nothing disturb thee;
Let nothing dismay thee;
All thing pass;
God never changes.
Patience attains All that it strives for.
He who has God Finds he lacks nothing:
God alone suffices.
When I am feeling difficult and harsh, these words remind me of why I am here, and why I am going through what I am.
And he said unto all,
If any man would come after me,
let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily,
and follow me.
Luke 9:23 RV
No one, not even Jesus, said being a Christian would be easy.
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth,
where moth and rust doth consume,
and where thieves break through and steal:
but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor rust doth consume,
and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
for where thy treasure is,
there will thy heart be also.
Matthew 6:19-21 RV
I have been completely enthralled by this last week or so's financial crisis. I have been sick and in bed; I used the time wisely by watching CNBC, Bloomberg, Sky Business etc. ( I have also been trying to write a sermon about Teresa of Avila. I can't find out her feelings on the market economy anywhere)
While watching capitalism spiral into a smug blame game, I am left with a few conflicting emotions, ones that are not easy to reconcile.
The first is I think it is a good thing. Maybe people will work out that money and greed aren't what will make them happy. Maybe they will look for something more worthwhile, like their soul, their spiritual wellbeing. There are many paths on offer, but only one that will truly work:
Jesus saith unto him,
I am the way,
and the truth,
and the life:
no one cometh unto the Father,
but by me.
John 14:6 RV
And unlike a course in meditation, tarot, reiki or whatever, Christianity is free. All you need do is go to your local church.
It is this "free" aspect that has me concerned, and is making this financial crisis have a bit more bite than I would like. We all know church isn't actually free: it requires a tithe; 10% of one's wage is the norm (but probably not reality). In a few years time, I will be a Rector in charge of a parish. My stipend will be paid by my flock. If the crunch is being felt by all of society, my parishioners will be amongst them. While they will have less money, they will have the same bills etc. I imagine a tithe is one of the first to be reduced.
While all this is a concern in terms of my family and I being able to eat etc, it isn't huge, really. The larger concern is that less money will come in to help the less fortunate; and there are going to be far more of them.
What is the Christian response to all this financial mess? I really can't help but feel that it is a good thing. Money should have nothing to do with the Faith; and churches and preachers who prmote a "prosperity gospel" are wrong and are using the faith for all the wrong reasons. Christianity is about mission and spirituality; doing and being, not investing and buying. Hopefully people will see that the secular society has ripped them off, made them focus on goods instead of doing good. The church is making a mistake by following this path, and is totally missing one of Jesus' main points:
And Jesus entered into the temple of God,
and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple,
and overthrew the tables of the money–changers,
and the seats of them that sold the doves;
and he saith unto them,
It is written,
My house shall be called a house of prayer:
but ye make it a den of robbers.
Matthew 21:12-13 RV
The Christian response has to be one of removal from anything to do with capitalism. It really isn't the way we are supposed to be; and this crisis is showing that it isn't the way humanity is supposed to be. There are going to be many hurt and ruined people as a result of a greed false promises. It is the church's job to help these people, show them there is a better way, and one that won't cost them their house.
Jesus said unto them,
I am the bread of life:
he that cometh to me shall not hunger,
and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.
John 6:35 RV
