From sheep to God in one easy step

I am the good shepherd.  

I know my own and my own know me,

just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. 

And I lay down my life for the sheep.

John 10:14-15 NRSV

But what does it all mean? What does it mean for us? Now?

I suppose the fact that 2000 years on, we are still reading these words. We regard ourselves as part of Jesus' flock. For us, he is the Good Shepherd. He did lay down His life for us.

We also look upon this as an example. Why we are not expected to lay our own lives down as completely as Jesus did, we are expected to love our fellow human, with all our heart.

This is how we know Jesus' love for us. It is by our reciprocal love, that love for each other, for everyone, that He will know we are His.

As the Father knows Him, He knows the Father. 

As Jesus knows us, we know Jesus.

As God knows us, we will know God.

Within this parable, Jesus tells us of the reason for His life, ministry, and death. That through Him, we will know God, and through Him, God will know us.

And we can test ourselves, to see the truth in this. Are we loving each other? Are we really loving everyone who asks us for love? Are we giving love to those who will not ask?

If we know our heart is open and giving, honestly and without resentment or pride, we will know that we are God is abiding in us, and us in Him.

What will we be?

If ye know that he is righteous,
ye know that every one also that doeth righteousness is begotten of him.
Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us,
that we should be called children of God:
and such we are.
For this cause the world knoweth us not,
because it knew him not.
Beloved,
now are we children of God,
and it is not yet made manifest what we shall be.
We know that,
if he shall be manifested,
we shall be like him;
for we shall see him even as he is.
And every one that hath this hope set on him purifieth himself,
even as he is pure.
Every one that doeth sin doeth also lawlessness:
and sin is lawlessness.
And ye know that he was manifested to take away sins;
and in him is no sin.
Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not:
whosoever sinneth hath not seen him,
neither knoweth him.
1 John 2:29-3:1-6 RV

Again, I'm taking the epistle instead of the Gospel for today's reflection. I guess one has to take the few opportunties that there are for 1 John in the lectionary.

I have written about a section of this previously, in connection with the 1928 Book of Common Prayer and The Transfiguration. And as then, the same part has capture3d my attention.

Beloved,
now are we children of God,
and it is not yet made manifest what we shall be.
We know that,
if he shall be manifested,
we shall be like him;
for we shall see him even as he is.
And every one that hath this hope set on him purifieth himself,
even as he is pure.
1 John 3:2-3 RV

(We are Christians, but we do not know what this will make us become. If Jesus were to become present again, we will be the same as him. We will achieve this by making ourselves as pure as Jesus.)

To me this is a very strong message of the mystic way. The way to be a child of God is to be like Jesus.

The idea that we are not sure what we are to become, but we are sure that we will be like Jesus is an intruiging concept. I like to to think of this phrase along the lines of Jesus becoming present again, he would be like us. The obverse is that if he were to become present again, we would be living a life that would be like him.

As I wrote earlier, I believe in the Transfiguration, Jesus was showing us what it is capable for us to become.

A St Teresa for our times

Each time of communion beg some gift of God,
by the compassion wherewith He has entered thy poor soul.
Maxim 64, St Teresa of Avila

I am once again enthralled by Teresa of Avila. I find myself drawn to her regularly, at times when it makes not much sense: then, of course, it does.

On October 15th, we celebrate St Teresa, and on this occasion I will be preaching.

About what exactly?

It seems to me, at my early stages of researching that Teresa combined two wonderful qualities. She was a mystic, and a reformer. It is about these issues and their relevance today that I will speak of.

When I was interviewed by the Bishop, and again at selection conference, I spoke of my earnest belief that the future of the church lie in teachings and promotion of the mystic ideals. In many ways, the future of the church lies in it's past.

Instead of racing toward a plasma screen in every Chancel, or a cafe chat instead of liturgy; the church would be far better off delving back to the spirit of the mystics, none moreso than Teresa.

During the Spanish counter-reformation of the late 1500's, Teresa reformed the Carmelites in terms of Medieval ideas: a return to asceticism, prayer and poverty. Silence and solitude were among her ideals of life.

I believe that many Christians, and some who aren't as yet, are hunting for a stronger sense of the spiritual in their lives: it is a shame that many don't expect this from their church. Non Christians don't think they will find it within Christianity.

Teresa and the msytics are the key for the next generation of Christians. All want to experience God, but I don't think it will happen with the current batch of "new" ideas that the church is throwing up. Each new form (or formlessness) strikes me as a secularisation, reaching people where they are and so forth. There is nothing wrong with that, but once they are reached, what are you giving them?

Enter Teresa......

Call to mind continually throughout the day the matter of the morning meditation:
be very careful herein,
for it will do thee much good.
Maxim 31, St Teresa of Avila

Christ Mystical

A book that I repeatedly return to is Christ Mystical by Joseph Hall (1647).

I found a very rough copy last year, and it has been a constant companion, particularly on trips up to Newcastle.

The little I know of Joseph Hall comes from wikipedia.

The main point of the book is union with Christ: The kind, the resemblance, the certainty, the privilege and benefits of this union.

Here are my favourite bits:

This last section is of particular beauty and relevance for me. On the days when I feel distant from Christ, I remind myself that He is always present. I remind myself of the wonder of His presence in the Holy Eucharist.

A Love Supreme

I have had two things occupy my mind in the past week or so:

Jazz and Mysticism.

The jazz in question is of the Blue Note mid 1960's variety. the likes of Wayner Shorter, Herbie Hancock, Andrew Hill etc. This has been something of a rediscovery. In my early 20s (in fact a week before my 21st birthday) I started a huge jazz learning curve that started from going backwards from my great love; "Bitches Brew" to Thelonious Monk. It has been nice going back.

I remember the feeling of excitement of hearing "A Love Supreme" for the first time. This time of course, I understand the spiritual nature of the work.

Although the liner notes are overtly religious (not necessarily Christian. Jesus is not mentioned.), the music is certainly more abstract. It is completely possible to enjoy the album without thinking about religion. However, I think it would be hard to not feel some sort of spiritual nature to the music. There are moments when Coltrane's playing is out of his control; an ecstatic spirit (the Holy Spirit?) binds the group together. Remarkable stuff indeed.

I attempted to explain all this to a pentecostal woman this week. She was talking about speaking in tongues, and I told her about Coltrane. She didn't seem that impressed by my analogy.

This of course ties in with my feelings about mysticism. The way jazz like Coltrane can express something that is non verbal, free, ecstatic, strikes me as analogous to that of the mystic experience.

But what did you see, Paul?

Johan Christoph Weigel
1695

I must needs glory, though it is not expedient;
but I will come to visions and revelations of the Lord.

I know a man in Christ, fourteen years ago
(whether in the body, I know not; or whether out of the body, I know not; God knoweth),
such a one caught up even to the third heaven.

And I know such a man
(whether in the body, or apart from the body, I know not; God knoweth),
how that he was caught up into Paradise,
and heard unspeakable words,
which it is not lawful for a man to utter.

2 Corinthians 12:1-4 RV

I awoke this morning with a strong sense of Paul. Like I had spent some time with him, or he had been around me. An unusual occurrence by any rate; moreso because I have not spent any time studying his writings.

I know why I had this feeling. I have been reading The Gnostic Gospels by Elaine Pagels, in which the above quote is spoken of.

I have had a very difficult time with Paul. Many of his diatribes about women etc have left me thinking he was a bit of difficult man. Yet this quote is very close to my thinking.

Was Paul a mystic? Does he here speak of receiving divine revelations? Out of body experiences? His conversion was certainly a mystical experience:

And as he journeyed, it came to pass that he drew nigh unto Damascus:
and suddenly there shone round about him a light out of heaven:
and he fell upon the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him,
Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me?
cts 9:3-4 RV

How can it be that the writer who to me, most epitomises the orthodox position, can express something that even 1 John only hints at?

I believe in religious experience. To read them mentioned in the "super straight" Paul has been a minor revelation, and one that makes me aware that I while I am not orthodox, not only is there a place for people like me within the Church, we have scriptural backing for our experiences.

Now, how can I get John to hang out in the morning?

Spirit, delivered by Service

A month ago, I was reading two books:
Lee, The Religious Thought of St. John. (1962)
Howard, Christianity according to St. John. (1943)

I found a quote that I liked, but I didn't have any paper to mark it, or write it down.
It was so good and spot on, and relevant, there was no possible way I was going to forget it.

I forgot what it was. I had read on into other subject matter, and.....
I would look through and find it.
However, because of the two books having a similar subject and layout, finding it was somewhat of a random search.

"man is not a pure spirit,
and that to have full effect,
spiritual teaching must be combined with the visible and material"
Gardner, The Ephesian Gospel, 1915, p. 210
quoted in:
Lee, The Religious Thought of St. John, 1962

I think this means that man needs symbolism (liturgy) and physical (Eucharist) to gain a full understanding of Christianity, or more succinctly in the words of Richard Hooker:
a sacrament is "an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace."

More recently been thinking about mysticism and spiritual development. I believe that any form of true higher spiritual experience is either meaningless, or impossible without a large element of service. Christianity's humanitarianism is also part of it's way toward God, by the example of Jesus.

We know that,
if he shall be manifested,
we shall be like him;
for we shall see him even as he is.
1 John 3:2 RV

St John and Julian of Norwich

Portret van een Vrouw
Rogier van der Weyden

IN this same time our Lord shewed me a spiritual sight of His homely loving.
I saw
that He is to us everything that is good and comfortable for us:
He is our clothing that for love wrappeth us,
claspeth us,
and all encloseth us for tender love,
that He may never leave us;
being to us all-thing that is good,
as to mine understanding.

Julian of Norwich
Revelations of Divine Love
Revelation One; Chapter 5

I recorded some music to commemorate Julian's day in the Anglican Calendar.
The pieces are a slighter rawer than my two earlier this year. I wanted to treat them more, but they wanted to stay clear; hence the sound is a bit sharper and closer. There are a few more background noises: clicks, clunks, birds, crickets, cars. I think it suits Julian that the sound is a bit more rustic.

Anyway, you can hear the pieces here.



We had a reading of her work at Mass today, from which the above is taken.

Although I had read the above before, today I heard it read aloud; a very different experience to that of last year.
I understood it as an expansion on:

God is love;
and he that remains in love
remains in God,
and God remains in him.
1 John 4:16

Where John says "love", Julian says: "everything that is good and comfortable for us". She describes it almost in terms of sensation. She then goes on to describe God's love for us in terms of a hug:

Wrappeth us,
claspeth us,
and all encloseth us

It is an eternal hug:

He may never leave us

John at the end of his first letter informs us

This is the true God, and eternal life
1 John 5:20

I know my above writing is a bit shallow, that it seems rather obvious, and probably pointless for me to point out. But sometimes things can be other thought and over writ.

An hour or so with Julian of Norwich

Julian of Norwich recieved her vision on May 8th 1373.

Last year, I read the short text of her Revelations in one sitting. It is not long, only 30 0r so pages. This was able to be done. I kneeled upright, holding the book, a single candle for light.

I took this photo earlier that week.

It took me 90 minutes to read the text. After each chapter I said a prayer. At times my knees hurt and my calves ached. My lower arms became tense. It would become difficult to read the words due to the lack of light. Sentences had to be re-read often. My mind drifted, and I allowed this happen; once I became aware I had drifted, I would resume reading.

When I completed the text, I made a cup of tea, and sat outside in the sun.

I was completely aware of how different I felt. I knew I had been through something. What exactly, I do not know; so how valuable the experience was is open to debate. However, It is a day I will not forget, and I am certain it was a furthering of my spiritual development.

I started to read many books about Julian of Norwich, wanting to make sense of what I had read, wanting to find out about her. Although these were of great help in terms of interpreting her work, my odd 90 minutes seemed to have imprinted a deep sense of love within me; a sensation that rises, however gently, whenever I read her text.

This week I am taking my time, and reading the long text. Already, pleasant wisps of last year are returning; gentle and elusive.

St. Catherine of Siena (1347-1380)

St Catherine of Siena,
Andrea Vanni, (1332-c. 1414)
San Domenico, Siena

April 29 is the Feast Day of St Catherine of Siena.

Here is a piece I have composed in her honour.



The music is an attempt to capture something of her mystical zeal and pain. She is more frantic than Julian of Norwich, and isn't as thought thorough as St Teresa of Avila. Yet I sense an overpowering light that seems to make her experiences shimmer. It is sudden and intense. It is this I have tried to capture in the piece.

At the execution of man she converted and has received Holy Communion for the first time, she had a mystical experience:

I prayed, I constrained her,
I cried "Mary!" for I wished this grace,
that at the moment of death she should give him a light and a peace in his heart,
and then I should see him reach his goal.
Then my soul became so full that although a multitude of people were there,
I could see no human creature,
for the sweet promise made to me.

The vision, and it's reason for happening show Catherine's true nature as one who desired to serve God to her utmost, and beyond.

At the age of 6 she started to recieve visions. By her early teens she was asking her parents whether she could become a Nun. When they refused, she cut all her hair off, and wanted to make herself as ugly as possible. She fasted regularly, often forgoing any food other than Holy Communion. Her parents were wealthy, and had hoped she would "marry well". 1363, at the age of 16 she joined the Dominican Tertiary. In 1373 she was told by God to leave the cloister, and enter public life. She initially thought of the Clergy, and asked God how this would be possible. He replied:

I will raise up women ignorant and frail by nature
but endowed with strength and divine wisdom.
Then, if the men will come to their senses and humble themselves,
I will behave with the utmost mercy towards them,
that is to say, towards those who, according to the grace given them, receive my doctrine,
offered to them in fragile but specially chosen vessels,
and follow it reverently.
Link

Within her letters, we find out her thoughts concerning the privilege, call, and role of the Clergy.
To her future biographer, and Spiritual Advisor, Raymund of Capua, she writes:

Kind father,
cheer up,
for you have been called to him so sweetly.

Persevere with joy and patience,
without crippling pain.

... I desire to see you a seeker and lover of truth.

She also writes on what a Priest should do and be (same thing?).

...be the sort of flower that breathes out a fragrance before God and for those in your care.
Be a true shepherd, ready to give your life for your sheep.
...
Consider God's ineffable love for your salvation;
open your eyes and you see his boundless blessings and gifts.
...
Fall in love with virtue;
its effect is the opposite of that of vice,
because sin brings bitterness
while virtue brings sweetness
and even in this life a foretaste of the next.

The Letters of Saint Catherine of Siena, Suzanne Noffke, O.P., volume 1, Medieval & Renaissance Texts & Studies, 1988, 57-58.

Her opinion of the Clergy may be understood better by the words she recieved in a vision. God explains to Catherine the role of Ministers, and what they are actually administering at the Eucharist:

I have especially chosen My ministers for the sake of your salvation,
so that, through them,
the Blood of the humble and immaculate Lamb, My only-begotten Son,
may be administered to you.
To them have I given the Sun to administer,
giving them the light of science and the heat of Divine Love,
united together in the color of the Body and Blood of My Son,
whose Body is a Sun,
because He is one thing with Me, the True Sun,
in such a way that He cannot be separated or divided from Me,
as in the case of the natural sun,
in which heat and light cannot be separated,
so perfect is their union;

Of the dignity of the priest;
The Dialogue of Saint Catherine of Siena
1378

Reading St. Catherine's thoughts on Priests has given me much to ruminate over.

Be the sort of flower that breathes out a fragrance before God and for those in your care.
Be a true shepherd, ready to give your life for your sheep.

I think this is good advice.

St. Catherine of Siena
from Orcherd of Syon*
1519

*The treatment is of my down doing. Click on the picture for large version.The beautiful original is here.

Oh, Teresa!

The Ecstasy of St Teresa
Gian Lorenzo Bernini
(1647-1652)

In the last couple of days I have read comments by people referring to God in a negative way. Both were with obvious humour. One in particular was referring to the God of the OT, The other was just a general reference. Both made me laugh; they were too jocular to find offensive.

God is light,

and in him is no darkness at all.

1 John 1:5 RV

My feelings and thoughts of God are not negative.

I question what sometimes feels as his absence. The moments when God feels distant are when I experience negative things.
Sometimes I have created the negativity.
The moments I recognise an absence is when my arrogance and selfishness becomes too big for me to feel a presence.

Standing in a river torrent, Teresa of Avila complained:
“Lord, amid so many ills this comes on top of all the rest.”
A Voice answered her, “Teresa, that is how I treat my friends.”
She retorted, “Ah, my God! That is why you have so few of them!”

I wouldn't dare say such a thing, but I haven't had the experiences of Teresa that would allow me to do so. Teresa's mystical writings have been, and are still,a revelation. Interior Castle is a fantastic example of a true mystic explaining the mystical experience; lucid and majestic, vague and humble. Christians are very blessed to have had someone with such a beautiful soul explain a deeply personal experience in such a meaningful and glorious way.

Oh, Teresa! What a wonderful soul, spirit, woman, and wit.