My recent rant about Christian metal and Hillsong has stayed with me. In usual fashion, I began to wonder whether I have it all wrong, and Christian metal is in fact not "right". An independent test would suggest that it is evil. It certainly sounds so at times.
This is not really a problem most of the time. Yes, it sounds dark, but the lyrics are covering dark subject matter: the Crucifixion, the Apocalypse, sin, and so forth. But sometimes, one doesn't want to feel depressed about the faith (church attendance numbers does a good job of that)
I Googled "Christian Progressive Rock" and found a whole new world. Well, two in fact: the world of "Jesus Music" and "Music Blogs".
The world of Jesus Music is truly a timely blessing for me. Here I was thinking Christian rock was dire sentimental nonsense. And the golden era (1967-1979) didn't seem to hold much hope, from what I had read.
Then the whole idea of "underground" came up. It ends up there was a whole psychedelic Christian rock scene; sort of contemporaneous with the hippy thing. It is completely hippy: but instead of acid and dope, it is Jesus and the Bible. Istead of "free love", it is love everyone. Wonderful, and completely logical.
The first album I came across was Jimmy Hotz "Beyond the Crystal Sea".
A late 70's progressive rock gem: bits of Yes, Styx, Rush, Pink Floyd, and he sings a bit like Peter Gabriel.
I'll post more as I get time beyond listening.
It is just a shame when it is the ones that really suck.
It is even worse when the dream only prefigures one small aspect of what is occur.
And while he was sitting on the judgment–seat,
his wife sent unto him,
saying,
Have thou nothing to do with that righteous man:
for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.
Matthew 27:19 RV
I was confronted in a dream this morning by two of my least edifying features, both of which are related to an earlier post.
The dream consisted of me organising the vessels for a Eucharist. It was in a restaurant kitchen where a meal was being prepared. The vessels I had been given to prepare were filthy with dirt and old wine.
As I was cleaning them, two of the chefs asked me to put four spoons of some tomato stuff into a pot. I did this.
When I realised that I had been taking way too long cleaning the vessels, I got ready to leave. Two of the chefs stopped me, and asked what size spoon I used. Was it a teaspoon? I knew I had used a tablespoon, but I lied, and said I had indeed used a teaspoon. They saw through my deciet and showed me the meals that I had ruined.
I was worried, and started to complain about the vessels, and the time, and how if there was any trouble with the Priest, I would walk out.
I awoke with a sense of dread. Before me were my weak points, the parts of my personality that I can't stand: open, bare and raw. A very harsh way to wake up.
My dream stayed with me all day.
In the New Testament, dreams are mention very infrequently: in fact Matthew is the only Evangelist who exclusively uses the idea of divine revelation coming from dreams. Joseph is told all about Jesus conception, when to go to Egypt, when it safe to go back. The Three Wise Men are warned in a dream about Herod's plan to kill Jesus.
The most interesting dream reference comes much later in Matthew's Gospel, when Jesus is on trial in front of Pilate. At one point, Pilate's wife comes to him and says:
Have thou nothing to do with that righteous man:
for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.
Matthew 27:19 RV
I am not suggesting that my dream was a divine revelation. What I am saying is that our dreams very often point out our horrible points. Without the benefit of gloss or blur or sugar.
I would love to know what Pilate's wife's dreams were.
Martha and Mary
Maurice Denis
1896 Now as they went on their way,
he entered into a certain village:
and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary,
which also sat at the Lord’s feet,
and heard his word.
But Martha was cumbered about much serving;
and she came up to him,
and said,
Lord,
dost thou not care that my sister did leave me to serve alone?
bid her therefore that she help me.
But the Lord answered and said unto her,
Martha,
Martha,
thou art anxious and troubled about many things:
but one thing is needful:
for Mary hath chosen the good part,
which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:38-42 RV
I have liked this story since I first read it last year. It has a wonderful twist. As a first time reader, we expect Jesus to heed Martha's request and rebuke Mary for being lazy.
Lord,
dost thou not care that my sister did leave me to serve alone?
bid her therefore that she help me.
Luke 10:40 RV
But it is not so.
Instead, Jesus suggests she chill out, and look at the bigger picture. Instead of worrying about who is or is not doing their fair share, she should either just get on and do, or not. It is not worth worrying about.
Martha,
Martha,
thou art anxious and troubled about many things:
but one thing is needful:
for Mary hath chosen the good part,
which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:41-42 RV
He then informs her that Mary has her priorities correct. Instead of worrying about the mundane, she is learning the word.
What are we to take from this?
Is it that we are to engage in the spiritual life at the expense of the active life?
I think Jesus' point is somewhat more subtle. I don't think he means that we should negate the active life of service for the spiritual life. More, that if we are to be active and serve, we should do so uncomplainingly. If we are to be concerned about something, it shouldn't be the mundane reality stuff, more the spiritual side of our lives.
for Mary hath chosen the good part,
which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:42 RV
The learning of the spirit is something that cannot be taken or lost.
We meet this same Mary later in Jesus' life. It seems she did learn while at Jesus' feet.
Mary therefore took a pound of ointment of spikenard,
very precious,
and anointed the feet of Jesus,
and wiped his feet with her hair:
and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment.
John 12:3 RV
I have previously written about the reasons for this incident here. What I am interested in now is for the second time we hear about her, she is doing something that someone believes Jesus should rebuke her for, in this case Judas:
But Judas Iscariot,
one of his disciples,
which should betray him,
saith,
Why was not this ointment sold for three hundred pence, and given to the poor?
John 12:4-5 RV
As in the earlier example, we expect Jesus to agree with the accuser. Yet once again, he surprises us with his reply:
Suffer her to keep it against the day of my burying.
For the poor ye have always with you;
but me ye have not always.
John 12:7-8
Both times, Jesus informs the accuser that they are looking at things the wrong way. Indeed, Mary has got it right once again. Both times, Mary is doing something that could be regarded as selfish, and both times Jesus response seems to be egotistical, which I don't think they are.
Jesus reminds us that the spiritual life is of more concern than the material life. Yes, Martha could use a hand. Yes, the poor could use the money. But beyond this, our devotion to Christ, and our commitment to our spiritual lives is where our prime concern should be. It is from here that we will be able to help others.
On a different point, it is interesting that Mary annoints Jesus' feet. In Matthew and Mark, it is his head. John uses this motif again:
and he took a towel,
and girded himself.
Then he poureth water into the bason,
and began to wash the disciples’ feet,
and to wipe them with the towel wherewith he was girded.
John 13:4-5 RV
So: Mary learns at Jesus' feet, then she annoints his feet, then he washes the disciples feet.
For hereunto were ye called:
because Christ also suffered for you,
leaving you an example,
that ye should follow his steps:
who did no sin,
neither was guile found in his mouth:
who,
when he was reviled,
reviled not again;
when he suffered,
threatened not;
but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:
1 Peter 2:21-23 RV
Accepting criticism is never an easy thing. Being criticised is never fun, is never something one actively seeks. Whether it is deserved or not, the normal reaction is one of negativity.
I have a real problem with criticism. I don't handle it well at all. In some ways, the older I get, the worse I am at dealing with it.
When I was at music school, we would present our pieces in front of all the students, and then there would be a discussion on the merits, or lack thereof, of the the piece. I always found this hard, but I was confident in my work, so whatever wrongs there were, I never felt personally slighted by them.
I recently had some criticism that I found difficult to deal with. My competence, qualifications and manner were called into question. I stewed on this for month, became ill, all while I was getting to set to train my replacement.
The same weekend was our parish jubilee, with all the hoopla that entails. During rehearsals an incident or a "joke" came to my attention, which I found hurtful. The next day I turned up, and was rebuked for not doing something.
It was all a bit much for an over sensitive person such as myself. I over reacted and left.
The next day I read the following:
To recieve rightly and without offence the criticism of our own acts or characters is a large part of true meekness. I do not think it makes much difference, as far as this virtue is concerned, whether the criticism is justified or not; it may be that the bearing of them is a harder test when they are justified. Yet if we have a true and sober estimate of ourselves, I think we shall know that every criticism is justified in its spirit if not in its details. The humble man will do more than accept criticism without anger or bitterness; he will rejoice in it, seeing in it an aid to greater light on himself and to a truer estimate of his character.
Following the Way, Anon, SPCK, 1925; p 53.
I wish I had read it earlier in the month.
To realise that my over reaction was based purely on my pride being hurt has been a difficult thing. Pride is a difficult thing to overcome, and in this early stage of my journey, I now realise, yet again, how much I have to learn.
And he said,
That which proceedeth out of the man,
that defileth the man.
For from within,
out of the heart of men,
evil thoughts proceed,
fornications,
thefts,
murders,
adulteries,
covetings,
wickednesses,
deceit,
lasciviousness,
an evil eye,
railing,
pride,
foolishness:
all these evil things proceed from within,
and defile the man.
Mark 7:20-23 RV
The wounds on your hands never seem to heal
I thought all I needed was to believe
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or the beat of my heart
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes
Senseless years thunder by
Millions are willing to give their lives for you
Does nothing live on?
Learning to cope with feelings aroused in me
My hands in the soil, buried inside of myself
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes in you once again
Ill go walking in circles
While doubting the very ground beneath me
Trying to show unquestioning faith in everything
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or a change of heart
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes
My love wears forbidden colours
My life believes in you once again
I have been on a rather big David Sylvian/Japan/solo kick in the past few weeks. As one of my longest music loves, Sylvian and co and I have been through a bit together: high school, first love, drugs, marriage, divorce, overseas travel, composing, university, becoming a father, second marriage, leaving my country. In all the big things in my life, their music has been a part of it. Sometimes it has coincided that a new release that come out when a new stage of my life has begun.
They also have the advantage of being an artist that I have shared with my best friend Chris. I first met Chris through Sylvian. In 1986 I was selling(!) my Sylvian LPs to buy something else. We carried on about how brilliant he was and so forth. Within a year, I was working at the same shop with Chris; listening to Sylvian of course. I'll never forget something Chris said to me at this time, something along the lines of "I know in 10 or 20 years, I'll be able to come over to your place, and we'll listen to Sylvian". This ended up being completely true. The same couldn't be said for other stuff we were digging. (The Mission or All About Eve, anyone?)
On my latest kick, David and co are now being listened to with Christian ears. It has been an interesting spiritual journey for David Sylvian. He is now a Hindu, but was raised a Christian (I think).
Christian imagery abounds in his early works, but by 1993 they are gone.
David's most explicit Christian reference is in the 1983 single "Forbidden Colours". This is a gorgeous song, the music gleams and sparkles, David's voice is a croon, but melancholic. The opening line expresses the essential meaning:
The wounds on your hands never seem to heal
I thought all I needed was to believe.
The songs is about faith and the problem of keeping and questioning it. The middle eight clarifies the core issue:
I'll go walking in circles
While doubting the very ground beneath me
Trying to show unquestioning faith in everything
Here am I, a lifetime away from you
The blood of Christ, or a change of heart.
When I was younger, I had no idea what "The blood of Christ" meant. These days the blood of Christ is central to my life: the Eucharist is vital in my daily life and faith journey.
He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood abideth in me,
and I in him.
John 6:56 RV
If I was to explain that to myself 20 years ago, I wonder what I would have thought?
Here is the video.
After yesterdays rumination upon a "verily, verily" phrase, my interest in them all has been rekindled. The fact that this blog comes from the first of these phrases should be enough to let you know my feelings on them.
The phrase "verily, verily" is unique to John, and could easily be "amen, amen," or "Truly, truly," or "Surely, surely." Whatever it is translated as, it is certain that what follows is of extreme importance.
So here they all are, all 25 of them.
I have started to organise them, but work is slow on this.
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Ye shall see the heaven opened,
and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man.
John 1:51 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
Except a man be born anew,
he cannot see the kingdom of God.
John 3:3 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
Except a man be born of water and the Spirit,
he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.
John 3:5 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
We speak that we do know,
and bear witness of that we have seen;
and ye receive not our witness.
John 3:11 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
The Son can do nothing of himself,
but what he seeth the Father doing:
for what things soever he doeth,
these the Son also doeth in like manner.
John 5:19 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that heareth my word,
and believeth him that sent me,
hath eternal life,
and cometh not into judgment,
but hath passed out of death into life.
John 5:24 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
The hour cometh,
and now is,
when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God;
and they that hear shall live.
John 5:25 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Ye seek me,
not because ye saw signs,
but because ye ate of the loaves,
and were filled.
John 6:26 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
It was not Moses that gave you the bread out of heaven;
but my Father giveth you the true bread out of heaven.
John 6:32 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that believeth hath eternal life.
John 6:47 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood,
ye have not life in yourselves.
John 6:53 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Every one that committeth sin is the bondservant of sin.
John 8:34 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
If a man keep my word,
he shall never see death.
John 8:51 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Before Abraham was, I am.
John 8:58 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that entereth not by the door into the fold of the sheep,
but climbeth up some other way,
the same is a thief and a robber.
John 10:1 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
I am the door of the sheep.
John 10:7 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
Except a grain of wheat fall into the earth and die,
it abideth by itself alone;
but if it die,
it beareth much fruit.
John 12:24 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
A servant is not greater than his lord;
neither one that is sent greater than he that sent him.
John 13:16 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that receiveth whomsoever I send receiveth me;
and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
John 13:20 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
that one of you shall betray me.
John 13:21 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
The cock shall not crow,
till thou hast denied me thrice.
John 13:38 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
He that believeth on me,
the works that I do shall he do also;
and greater works than these shall he do;
because I go unto the Father.
John 14:12 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
that ye shall weep and lament,
but the world shall rejoice:
ye shall be sorrowful,
but your sorrow shall be turned into joy.
John 16:20 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto you,
If ye shall ask anything of the Father,
he will give it you in my name.
John 16:23 RV
Verily, verily,
I say unto thee,
When thou wast young,
thou girdedst thyself,
and walkedst whither thou wouldest:
but when thou shalt be old,
thou shalt stretch forth thy hands,
and another shall gird thee,
and carry thee whither thou wouldest not.
John 21:18 RV
